Health And General Life Care: RE: [loveshy

Thank you to all who replied, it is much appreciated.
I do feel a little bit better since I've finally spoken up. Also, I've been doing Second Life lately (I am a resident DJ in 2 clubs there), and someone who enjoys my company there kept on talking me out of doing some stupid things last night.
However, the mood swings are so chaotic that the deadly thoughts might occupy my mind any given moment.
I realize how lonely I am. I used to have many friends but I do not contact most of them anymore, and the ones who I still have around...I don't want them anymore, really. They do not bring any fulfillment into my life, and occasional meetings with them only upset me more. Lately, I've been avoiding them. They didn't really help me with their support when I had death in the family last July. It is something I can't easily forgive.I am very lost and confused.

I can't talk to anyone else close to me for obvious reasons. But I am willing to try it with a doctor. So, what's the verdict: a GP or a psychologist? A psychiatrist scares me. I don't want to end up in a looney bin, I am not THAT crazy. I know that my work has some kind of a counseling but I believe it is a grief counseling, and I am not grieving anymore.

Is anyone from NY or familiar with some doctors in Manhattan/Brooklyn area?

Thanks!

To: loveshy_drgilmartin@yahoogroups.comFrom: jnunezjr@sbcglobal.netDate: Tue, 22 Jan 2008 05:18:49 +0000Subject: [loveshy_drgilmartin] Re: Help

Hey brother. I won't try to say that I know your personal situation asall of us have different ways of dealing with things. What I do knowis that I too feel a similar type of depression day in and day outfrom this problem and I contemplate suicide every day(some days areworse then others). Although I agree with many on this forum, I thinkit comes mostly from a blend of Gynophobia(fear of woman), anxietyfrom past violence(both instigated and not), and a personalitydisorder brought upon from not fitting in to the overall culture. Istill continue to face hatred and ignorance at so many levelsespecially about my illness. Some believe that it is not an illnessbut I feel it has both genetic and environmental components. The pointis that it is NOT your fault that you have to deal with this pain. Imean I can personally tell you that it really feels isolating and thatno one will ever understand. But at least, for all of us on thisforum, please try to talk to someone. I have been going to a SocialWorker at a "not for profit" and doing a DBT group and although I amso anxious and it is so hard to do, I actually feel better because Iam at least around people with similar problems. Even if yourparents, friends, or co-workers don't understand, their are people whowill and at least that will make some of the loneliness go away. DONOT BE ASHAMED OF ANYTHING... Be proud that you can say that you havea problem... NO ONE IS PERFECT whether Biologically or Spiritually.We are social animals and need others. If you believe in some form ofReligion then you will might also understand that we need others forour own consciousness and spiritual growth. So don't feel bad becausewe are the way we are. I feel that we are just a bit more sensitiveto this need and we just have to learn how to approach it but thatunfortunately will take hard work on our end. However, TAKE IT REALSLOW... Not just minute by minute but second by second. Allowyourself to feel bad, grieve, and be depressed... Yes, I know ithurts like crazy. We are all dealing with allot so you have a rightto feel the way you do. You don't have to be strong for anyone butyourself. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. Why, because weare with you brother. WE CARE or at least I CARE... Yes, we maysuffer alone but keep trying to find a friend and if that doesn't workfind another one until you feel comfortable. Just be honest and try tofight to live another day until you find the help you need. Don'tworry about material things for now. Again one day at a time. I amdoing the same so I am with you on this journey bit I know it's hardand I feel like giving up too but we can't. I want to live and I wantto be happy. WE ALL HAVE THAT RIGHT! I wish you peace of mind andsafety brother... Please take care of yourself.--- In loveshy_drgilmartin@yahoogroups.com, Fallen Angel<fallen_angel_13@...> wrote:>> Guys,> > I desperately need help, and I don't know what or who to talk toabout it.> I fully acknowledge the fact that I have a problem and am in need ofits resolution.> > I came to the point that I have a major depression and all joys oflife do not matter to me anymore.> I have isolated myself from the society because I can no longerclick with people, and maintaining any kind of human interaction seemsto be an impossible and annoying task.> > I, as strong as never before, am contemplating what some call "apermanent solution to a temporary problem".> That idea alone is crippling my every day routine because now when Itake the subway on my way to work and back home, I am forcing myselfto stay cool and not jump under the train. Often, I am having panicattacks because my 2 halves are fighting with each other. One says "doit" while another begs me not to.> > I also live on the 6th floor, and idea of jumping from the windowseems more and more attractive to me. However, I am favoring sleepingpills.> > I am just tired of having all these feelings and dealing with theconstant pain (as mental as well as physical).> > So, for the first time ever I am reaching my seeking hand and askingall of you to help me by advising what to do before it is too late.> > I do not want to end it all because it would not be fair to myfamily, and most of all it would not be fair to me.> > > > > > I am residing in Brooklyn, NY.> > Any input is welcome. > > Thank you!> > __________________________________________________________> Need to know the score, the latest news, or you need yourHotmail®-get your "fix".> http://www.msnmobilefix.com/Default.aspx> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]>

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