Health And General Life Care: [loveshy_drgilmartin] Re: New to the group

[loveshy_drgilmartin] Re: New to the group - A summary of my story

Tuesday, 22 January 2008

0 comments

--- In loveshy_drgilmartin@yahoogroups.com, "espinosat3"
<espinosat3@...> wrote:
>
> For safety reasons I still don't talk to or look at the
> accuser the few times that she inadvertently crosses my line of
> sight.

Very good.

> What I failed to mention earlier was that when I brought this
> incident to the attention of my immediate supervisor, he was behind
> me and didn't hold the incident against me.

Very good. With the support of your direct management you can survive
the problem.
>
> While my job may not be in jeopardy, and the move to a different
> office has made me more comfortable, I am still working on trying to
> get over my fear of looking at a nice-looking woman in public and
> anywhere outside the workplace where a woman can't make a sexual
> harassment issue out of "staring" at her for 1/2-1 second.

My suggestion is that you go places where it it *expected* for men and
women to meet and interact socially. The obvious examples are bars,
nightclubs, live music concerts, social dances, and private parties if
you get invited. There are plenty of single people at these
events, and women *know* that men are going there to meet women. You
may get blown off by any one particular woman if she doesn't like you
personally, but in general it is expected that you would talk to
strangers and try to meet them.

You should be polite and considerate and not pushy. I have talked to
women at these places about this issue, and the only time I hear
complaints is when men are very rude or very pushy, or break dance
etiquette rules on asking women to dance.

If you go to dances, you should read some of the
"dance etiquette" descriptions that can be found easily in many places
on the internet. Actually you should read them anyway because they
have a lot of useful info on social interactions among strangers in
public venues.

Personally I have made a lot of acquaintances and a few friends
by doing social dancing and going out to hear live music in small bars
and coffeehouse places. I enjoy getting out and meeting new people.

Good luck.