Health And General Life Care: [loveshy_drgilmartin] Hello, new here!

Thursday, 10 January 2008

0 comments

Hi everyone, I'm glad I've come across this forum and that I have
possibly found an answer to an ongoing problem in my life and that I'm
not alone. I found it after I was reading up about general shyness on
wikipedia and then saw a link to love-shyness. After reading about
this I typed a search in google and ended up here. so here's my story...

I had always been shy around girls when I was at primary school, that's
my first memory. Unfortunately by the time the first year of secondary
school was over I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that had a
serious effect on my day to day life. Before I knew it I was stuck on
loads of medication and went from a skinny small boy to a bloated
looking one due to being on steroid treatment (not the ones for muscle
building obviously lol). This completely affected my chances with
girls and I spent my remaining school years being ridiculed. I had
various jobs over the years but always had shyness round the opposite
sex which became more frustating.

When I was 29 I got the opportunity to start going out to night clubs,
a bit late but better late than never. I was mixing with a younger
crowd and would sometimes gwt the odd opportunity with a girl, nothing
special as it was always short lived. I made a bad call of falling for
a female friend and telling her how I felt and I didn't take the text
rejection very well. This happened right on top of xmas and then my
grandfather passed away. I had a serious relapse with my illness which
meant time in hospital and spending most of 2006 recovering,
physically. In 2007 I decided to see a hypnotherapist as I was unhappy
in myself that my life has been passing me by and that I get angry and
jealous of healthy young people having the chance to lead there lives.

The lastest subject we are dealing with is shyness, but I think it is
now love shyness. I am now 36 and have yet to have a relationship with
a woman. I have been out of work for a while and on anti-depressants.
I try to socialise when I can afford to and when I do go out with
friends they cannot understand why I do not approach a woman and
initate conversation. I wish I could, but I don't feel comfortable
doing so and the last thing is to be put under pressure to do it. I
know my friends feel frustrated on my part and with me for not making
any sort of move. I don't know if it is due to past rejections or if
contending with an illness through my teens and twenties as naturally
this has also caused a lot of resentment over the years in its own
right. Sex or any kind of loving relationship has not been a part of
my life so I am looking for answers to hopefully change my situation.
Sorry this is a long drawn out story, but this gives you a little
insight into my world. I look forward to reading other members
comments. Thanks. Jools